Nutella is the Ultimate Alien Technology



Hold on, don’t be so quick to pass judgement or discard my hypothesis as the ramblings of a delusional person. I have some theories that will prove beyond doubt that Nutella is no ordinary chocolate that you simply spread onto your morning toast or have chunks full of when humanity deceives you, no, it serves a greater purpose.

  • Anti-Dementors Effect: What is the one thing that makes us feel better after we have had an encounter with a Dementors? Yes, its nothing other than good old chocolate. And what is the best form of chocolate known to mankind? Nutella. Hence, it is safe to say that Nutella is no ordinary human creation, it is something that has been given to us by our friends from the neighbouring planet.
  • The Mind Palace: What is the one place that Sherlock loves to disappear to? His mind palace of course. Yeah, he says it is to think better and escape ordinary people and their jibber jabber, but it is actually because the walls of his mind palace are made of hardened Nutella! Yes, I am quite sure of it, because why else would he want to go there so often? He is Sherlock after all, he doesn’t need to be in a different place to think, he is a genius! No imbecile like Anderson could really impact his thinking, as he can think on the go, but he prefers to do so in his mind palace, because it is made of Nutella.
  • Fuel for the TARDIS: If you are a Whovian, then no doubt the one mode of transportation that you would love to try out is the TARDIS. Who are you kidding, you would happily give your right arm in exchange for one ride! So the question is what fuels the magnificent TARDIS? Yeah, the Doctor says that it is the Artron Energy from the vortex, but think about it, do you think something as amazing and 21st century defying would not require the help of the best form of chocolate in the world, AKA Nutella?

Go on, you can contradict me all you like, but somewhere I have gotten a tiny corner in your brain thinking, is Nutella merely a chocolate, or some form of alien technology that we are being fed to enhance ourselves? Because heaven knows we do need enhancing!